THE SADDLEBAG by Bahiyyih Nakhjavani

"When his wife died it was not from sickness either.  She just looked at him in bed one early morning, her cheeks as ruddy as the hour when he first kissed them, and said, 'I'm tired.' Whereupon she turned her back to him, as if in sleep, and died.  The soft breeze of spring winnowing through her hair was like human breath, but it came from T'ien, the Mandate of Heaven.  He never forgave himself for not having recognized the proximity of her immortality and realized then that it was not enough to have mastered the art of diagnosing death."  pg155

"And as he searched the riddles of a thousand sandstorms, he also realized that he would never be able to save his people from the poison of his dream unless he overcame his fear.  Fear's antidote lay somewhere in the region of trust.  But where was that?"  pg155

Insecurity is like a shadow monster in your room.

You know what I mean?  You're a child and you're going to bed when you start searching the room to make sure it's safe.  And your eyes fall upon a strange shadow on the wall.  You get to thinking, is it a shadow or it is alive?  Did it just move? Yes it did, I saw it move.  Now you look closer and you can make out the details, arms and head, tentacles, teeth, ears, every one of them is moving.  You want to scream out and call your mom or dad.  And sometimes you can scream and sometimes you're too afraid so you just bury your head under the covers and hide, hoping it will go away.  And it always does go away because daylight reveals its true nature.  

Now isn't that just a perfect analogy for insecurity and all those other things that cause us to fear so much so we become paralyzed.  And the daylight, what do you suppose that might be?  Recognizing truth perhaps, seeing the true nature of things.  Once we understand a thing it isn't paralyzing anymore I guess.  

I wonder if we could skip that paralyzing fear stage all together.  Of course it takes great courage to get up from your bed, in the dark, and take that first step towards the shadow monster, especially when you're not quite sure if it's real or not.  Great courage indeed.