Now this is a subject no one wants to talk about. It's embarrassing to admit that we're lonely. It could mean we don't have many friends to talk to. Or we've lost someone and don't know how to replace them. Or we isolate ourselves because we're embarrassed about something, we don't fit in the "norm". We all probably experience some form of these in our life. I didn't always feel lonely like I do now. Maybe seeing my peers with families and children I've come to appreciate that phase of building something with someone you love. I live a full life, I serve, I work, I play, but then I come home to an empty house. The name of this blog is from a story about two lovers searching for one another... Majnun and Layli. Did I prophesize how difficult this search would be? I took a trip a few years ago to this beach and read a book. At some point, I looked to the side imagining someone there and I questioned why I was there? Was I just distracting myself to avoid another weekend alone? These trips, this kind of entertainment, it just comes and goes... and I want the permanent. I want to build something without feeling like it's temporal. Of course, I can with my family, friends, and neighbors, I love those moments where we connect and grow closer, but there's something instinctual about finding a partner. Maybe this kind of loneliness is built into our DNAs to move us closer to each other? Maybe hers is moving her closer to me right now and later we'll think this loneliness is a gift that helped bring us together. This feeling has certainly helped me recognize the need to connect to one another, to build something lasting, to have meaningful conversations and interactions, to focus our energy on the permanent and everlasting. And maybe my loneliness is just a small representation of how lonely we are as a society. If I can feel this way, with a loving family, wonderful friends, a healthy life, how much more so would it be without any of those? So before it becomes 2018, I think I'll make it a goal this next year to apply the teachings that come from loneliness, in hopes that it will bring a little more connectedness and comfort to all my relationships. Happy New Year 💛
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