Dreams

I tend to dream a lot.  And my moods will be heavily influenced by them.  I've spoken to people through dreams, I've spoken different languages, flew, confronted my challenges in various forms, and so many things.  I enjoy going to sleep wondering what the next dream might be.  They constantly surprise me.  Or perhaps I am surprising myself?  Where do they all come from? And why do some people dream and remember them and some people believe they don't dream because they can't remember anything? It's strange.

Anyway, I had a dream last night, a symbolic dream, so I'll share it with you.  Of course you really have to be in the dream to understand but I'll try.

(the picture has very little to do with the dream)
I was floating in a clear lake with a fishing pole in my hand.  My dad was floating beside me.  My brothers were floating near by too.  We were all floating and fishing with worms.  We weren't catching anything or rather there were no fish to catch because we could see down to the bottom and there were just rocks down there.  All of a sudden a huge fish breaks the surface, it must have weighed over 20lbs,  and looked like some kind of large mouth bass.  We all were super excited and started casting our lines next to it.  The fish wasn't scared at all from our excitement and just lazily swam around along the bottom passing our fishing lines as if they were of little consequence.  I finally put my hook right near its mouth and the huge fish chomped down and I pulled to try to snag it with the hook.  Unfortunately the fish just spat out my hook.  My dad and brothers were really excited when it swallowed my hook and then really disappointed when it spat it out.  They were like, "aww man, come on, why did you pull so hard", etc etc, but I was busy trying to catch it again so paid them little attention.  Then the next thing happened in an instant and left all of us with our mouths open, stunned in awe.

What happened was, the big fish continued to lazily swim on the bottom after I missed it when a guy with snorkel gear quickly dived down, grabbed the big fish, wrapped it in a roped, strapped it on his back, and swam off.  I think just before he did that I had a similar thought like, "this fish is so slow I could just grab him." But in an instant the fish was gone.

And I woke up.

So, what do you think?

To This Day...

I hate Pork Chops.

That is a video about a lot of things.  Isolation and love or lack thereof are the main themes.  We tried to do a short film about name calling and nicknames when I was in Ecuador.  It didn't come out so powerful.  This is a very powerful spoken word if you can hear it.  And it's got me thinking.  About the kids who get picked on, about the kids who pick on, and about everyone else who either watch, take a side, or react.  Not many of us react when we see it happening.  We might feel bad or guilty or scared or unsure, but we feel something don't we?  Which means we are a part of it, even if we weren't the bully or the victim, we experience a feeling.  Why not react to that feeling?  Why not do something brave, something incredibly brave?  Like talk. Talk to the bully, talk to the victim, talk to the people around you, talk to them about what you felt and pray that will lead to the truth of that experience.  The truth is bullies and victims are happening all the time, and it's not just trying to find the one or two hundred adam lanza's out there and making sure they get help, it's making sure the 6 billion people on our planet are getting help, are getting a friend to listen to them, are getting a hand to help them up, are getting encouraged to be their true Self.  Beauty is how that video ends and beauty is what we all are, we sometimes just need a friend to show us.

Silver Linings Playbook

There are only two romance dramas worth watching, as far as I know, 1. Rachel getting married, and...                          

2. Silver Linings Playbook.  Such a refreshing film.  Open, honest, vulnerable, and tasteful to love.  There are so many themes in this film and all get touched on in meaningful ways.  Hands down one of the best written films I've ever seen.  Even though the actors did an amazing job, the lines in this film were well thought out, especially the background banter that would overlap into dialogue at times.  Great film.  Go watch it.  

Peripheral Voices

 What's that you say?  We all have one.  It's a voice that speaks to us, faintly, sometimes barely even audible or noticeable, but it's there.  I like to think of it as peripheral because it's comparable to something moving outside of your vision and at times we're lucky enough to turn and see it, but usually we're left wondering what it was that passed.  Was it even real or did I just imagine something?  Same thing, except it's a voice, or a feeling, or an impulse, and it's real.

For example.  Today I was rushing to get to a meeting.  I ran down my apt stairs to find my neighbors little dog looking up at me.  I said, "Hey Doggy" and as I passed the door, yelled in, "Hey So-and-So!" Whereupon she replied, "Hi, how are you?" So I stopped for a second and talked to her.  Small talk because I was trying to leave.  But when I asked how she was doing, she opened up on a rather personal matter, a health issue.  So I was conflicted.  My brain and body were trying to urge the conversation to an ending point so I could get in the car and get to the meeting, but this voice said no you should listen to her, this is important, more important than arriving on time to the important meeting.  Many times I've ended those kind of conversations and left and felt fine for doing it.  The voice never scolds you, it just vanishes and your left wondering if it was real at all.  This time I stayed.  The voice spoke a few more times during that conversation and basically now I am looking up food remedies to buy on my next shopping trip for my neighbor Susie.

It feels a bit overwhelming to have a voice grounded in pure love for others.  And yet I have no control over when it will speak or when it will not speak.  I only have the ability to listen or not listen.  I can tell you this though, the more you listen and act upon what you've heard, the more the voice speaks.

THE SADDLEBAG by Bahiyyih Nakhjavani

"When his wife died it was not from sickness either.  She just looked at him in bed one early morning, her cheeks as ruddy as the hour when he first kissed them, and said, 'I'm tired.' Whereupon she turned her back to him, as if in sleep, and died.  The soft breeze of spring winnowing through her hair was like human breath, but it came from T'ien, the Mandate of Heaven.  He never forgave himself for not having recognized the proximity of her immortality and realized then that it was not enough to have mastered the art of diagnosing death."  pg155

"And as he searched the riddles of a thousand sandstorms, he also realized that he would never be able to save his people from the poison of his dream unless he overcame his fear.  Fear's antidote lay somewhere in the region of trust.  But where was that?"  pg155

Relationships

are sometimes like skipping stones.  Hitting the surface over and over.  Touching and going, touching and going, skimming and flying, skimming and flying.






When will we stop and see how deep we can go?

An unusual wish

My friend says... "Some people only learn by falling into holes.  I know [a person] who keeps falling into little holes.  Holes we know are there but we fall into them.  Little holes like drugs, stealing, speeding, etc, basically things that we already know are inherently wrong.  So I told [this person]... I wish for you to fall into a really big hole, not these little ones, but a big one."

At first, this statement kind of struck me.  I didn't agree, I thought that's like wishing for someone to go through a lot of pain and suffering.  Isn't that the opposite of what we all want for one another?  Isn't it? Then I thought of all the eye-opening experiences and circumstances that lead to growth and understanding in my life... they were all difficult experiences.  And they've made me who I am today.  They've craved a more complete me.  And I'm able to do so much more with life than ever before so I'm thankful in a way for all those experiences.  It's an interesting wish though... I'm not sure I'd wish those experiences on any one but then again if someone was falling into "small holes"all the time, I might wish for something to shake them out of it.  Maybe it's the falling that sounds wrong in my friends statement.  We could change it to, "I wish for you to climb out of a really big hole, not these little ones, but a big one." I might wish that for someone.