Peripheral Voices

 What's that you say?  We all have one.  It's a voice that speaks to us, faintly, sometimes barely even audible or noticeable, but it's there.  I like to think of it as peripheral because it's comparable to something moving outside of your vision and at times we're lucky enough to turn and see it, but usually we're left wondering what it was that passed.  Was it even real or did I just imagine something?  Same thing, except it's a voice, or a feeling, or an impulse, and it's real.

For example.  Today I was rushing to get to a meeting.  I ran down my apt stairs to find my neighbors little dog looking up at me.  I said, "Hey Doggy" and as I passed the door, yelled in, "Hey So-and-So!" Whereupon she replied, "Hi, how are you?" So I stopped for a second and talked to her.  Small talk because I was trying to leave.  But when I asked how she was doing, she opened up on a rather personal matter, a health issue.  So I was conflicted.  My brain and body were trying to urge the conversation to an ending point so I could get in the car and get to the meeting, but this voice said no you should listen to her, this is important, more important than arriving on time to the important meeting.  Many times I've ended those kind of conversations and left and felt fine for doing it.  The voice never scolds you, it just vanishes and your left wondering if it was real at all.  This time I stayed.  The voice spoke a few more times during that conversation and basically now I am looking up food remedies to buy on my next shopping trip for my neighbor Susie.

It feels a bit overwhelming to have a voice grounded in pure love for others.  And yet I have no control over when it will speak or when it will not speak.  I only have the ability to listen or not listen.  I can tell you this though, the more you listen and act upon what you've heard, the more the voice speaks.